Heart Without A Beat
by neverland-x
Summary: Written by my friend Hollie. PM me for her Twitter if you want to give her feedback personally rather than through me.


"Harry, don't be insane! You can't do this! We're a band!" I told him,

"I've made up my mind, Louis!" He said, "I'll leave it to you to tell the others."

"What about our fans? Our careers? You can't leave us! We won't be One Direction without you!" I cried, with tears brimming in my eyes.

"I'm sorry Louis." He turned around to look directly at me, "Goodbye."

"Don't do this to us, to me. Please Harry…" I could barley speak, I couldn't believe this was happening. Without Harry, we couldn't continue. This was the end of One Direction.

"This is hard for me too, Louis. I'll miss you, I love you. Goodbye." As Harry spoke, I saw Liam driving towards us up the road. I couldn't think straight, how could I possibly tell Liam and the others Harry was leaving us? Before I could say anything else, Harry was walking away into the road.

Yes, the road.

Where Liam's car was speeding towards us.

It went so quickly. I saw Harry look up suddenly to see Liam's car. He darted forwards to escape being hit. I heard a high squealing noise of Liam's car brakes. Followed by a piercing scream.

Harry's scream.

I can't take any of it in. It's like a nightmare that I can't wake up from. My legs are running towards Harry. I can't stop myself. He's just lying there, helplessly. Liam is hurtling himself out of his car and kneeling down to Harry; his face pale and his hands shaking.

I could still hear the squealing sound. I could still hear his scream. It was buzzing in my head uncontrollably. I opened my eyes to a bright light, I let my eyes adjust until Zayn and Niall came into focus. They hadn't noticed I was awake and sat there together, Zayn with his head in his hands. I looked around at the empty room, the bright lights, the lumpy bed I was laying in.

"W-Where am I?" They immediately turned around to see me. I could tell they had been crying by their red, blotchy eyes and solemn faces. Niall knelt down beside my bed,

"It's okay, you're okay Louis. You're in hospital," he said, trying to comfort me, but I could tell he was hurting inside. "You fainted, do you remember anything?" he asked me, his voice was shaky.

"Yes, it was Harry! He has to be here, h-he was outside the flat a-and Liam was in his car and he was in the r-road and h-he is leaving us!" I sobbed into Niall's arm as he hugged me, "I'm serious! He is leaving…" I was interrupted by Zayn,

"Louis listen," he said, "You saw didn't you? I'm sorry; Liam was driving just too fast. We were too late…" He burst into tears and stumbled back into the seat he was originally sitting in. I looked back at Niall, but he was weeping into my pillow. As I stared at the two of them, I realised it was true. It was no nightmare. It was real and I had witnessed it. I felt myself let out a loud wail and let all my tears come out.

"But, where's Liam?" I cried, "Where is he?" Niall shook his head,

"We don't know…" he said. He glanced over at Zayn and beckoned for him to come over,

"He disappeared after the accident," he told me. We all then began sobbing and huddled together in each other's arms for comfort. Harry was gone.

I woke up and looked at the time; 7:00 am. I knew I was just kidding myself, but I sat there for a while calling Harry's name, in the hope he'd come into my bedroom and give me a morning hug and breakfast on a tray. I didn't know what I was doing; I never know what I'm doing anymore. I just can't bring myself to let him go. It's impossible to forget my Harry.

All day long I kept seeing Harry around the flat; sometimes I saw him watching me out of the corner of my eye, or I saw a glimpse of his brown curls, but most of all, I kept seeing his beautiful green eyes and his amazing smile. It didn't matter where I was, I constantly saw him smiling at me with his big eyes. I didn't want this to stop, it comforted me in a way, and it let me know that he is still here with me because I'm never letting him go. When the others came over, I didn't tell them about it, I was afraid of what they would think. They tried so hard to stay positive around me and comforted me whenever they had the chance, but I couldn't help feeling like they were trying to forget Harry. I didn't want them to forget him and I certainly wasn't going to let them make me forget him either. They didn't seem to like it when I bought up his name or mentioned Liam, they tried to change the subject or tell me that I needed a break from thinking about him. A break? Were they being serious? As it went on, I became more and more agitated. I was fuming inside; I knew exactly what they were trying to do. They wanted me to forget him. Well, that wasn't going to happen. No way. The third time I bought up his name, Niall was the one who tried change topic.

"Why won't either of you let me talk about him? You cringe every time I say his name! You can't be seriously trying to forget Harry. Our Harry! Stop acting as if nothing has happened and stop avoiding any conversations that involve him!" It had all just come out as soon as I opened my mouth to speak. I think I shocked myself more than I shocked the guys, but I didn't let that ruin my moment.

"Louis, I know it's hard. We all know how you are feeling right now…" Niall said. I couldn't believe what I was hearing,

"You obviously have no idea how I am feeling if all you want to do is completely take Harry out of your lives! I want to remember him, I loved him!" My loud voice rose to a shout and Niall just sighed. Zayn stood up, I could see anger and frustration in his eyes,

"Louis, the only reason we came over here was to help you! Stop being so selfish! You aren't the only one who lost a best friend. Harry meant everything to all of us and we all loved him! And for Liam, he just needs some time, think about he is feeling right now!" Zayn yelled, storming out the flat. I noticed I was clenching my fists and my palms began to get sweaty, I had turned around to see Niall looking startled with his eyes brimming with tears. I had a thumping headache and I was getting so worked up. I didn't know whether to break down into tears right then and there or storm out after Zayn. I looked over at Niall but he turned his head away from me and stood up. He had obviously made up his mind, but I didn't need him anyway, after all, he had never been there for me so I wasn't going after him. He was a useless friend and I was glad to see him go and so I told him this. His eyes began to water and I knew I had hurt him, but I didn't care. I watched him as he walked straight past me and left without a word. I glared at him and slammed the door as soon as he was gone.

Weeks went by, everyday the same. I woke up and spoke to Harry, but he never replied. I didn't step foot outside ever since my with my argument with Zayn. I didn't heard from the guys anymore, I had two phone calls Niall a few days later, but then they stopped. Zayn and Liam never even tried to contact me. I never did anything in the flat, some days I never even got out of bed, but others, I stayed awake for two full days and nights just sitting in the living room. Sometimes I get my shoes and my coat on and make the decision to go out, but whenever I reach the front door, I get scared and dizzy, so I just take off my shoes and sit back down. Everyday is so painful without Harry here. I feel as though I'm being eaten away. Our fans are heartbroken after Harry's news, but they are also worrying about me and Liam as they haven't heard a word from us. There have been rumours that there will be no more One Direction, but I think that was decided a long time ago, I don't know about the others, but I'm finished. I have a number of endless tweets from fans asking me painful questions that I can't even look at right now. All I can think about is my Harry…

My emotions began building up inside me like a volcano; I was angry with Zayn, heartbroken because of Harry, upset with Niall and I couldn't even think about Liam. I couldn't take it any longer; I was completely losing it. I hadn't slept for days and I could barely see where I was going as I stumbled around the flat. It was as if my mind was in a completely different universe. As I made my way into the kitchen I bashed my head against the door, the room began to spin and I collapsed on the floor, scraping my arm against the kitchen units as I fell. I lay there for a minute, rubbing my head and holding in the tears. It was only then when I realised that I had cut my head and my elbow. I just watched the blood ooze out, threw my blurry watery eyes. I couldn't feel any pain. I couldn't feel anything.

I woke up, still lying on the kitchen floor, there were blood stains over the tiles. I didn't know how long I had been there, but it was light outside. I looked at my blood-stained fingers, my heart beat thumping louder and louder… I stood up and sprinted to the front door. I ran outside without thinking, my head still covered in blood. There was shouting behind me and I thought they were calling my name. I don't turn around, but I recognise Liam's voice. I keep running along the pavement, breathing heavily. I could vaguely hear Liam's voice getting closer, but my legs wouldn't move me any faster so I can't escape. I wanted to run, keep running straight into the road so I could be with Harry again; it seemed like a good idea. Liam's voice became clearer, he was telling me it was an accident and he loves me… My tears were stinging my eyes and were so sore from my constant crying. I continued running but I turned around to see Liam's face, he caught me up and ran along beside me,

"Louis! It was an accident, you know that. I would never mean to hurt Harry, I hate myself for it, but please forgive me, I love you!" he cried to me, running out of breath. I could barely look at him, if he hadn't been speeding, Harry would still be with me and I wouldn't have be in this state right now. It was all his fault. Liam killed my Harry. These words rang in my head, over and over as I stared at him with hatred. I could hear a car and so can Liam. He reached out to hug me, but I just couldn't. I can't forgive him. As he wrapped his arms around me, I shoved him forwards into the road and watched as he collided with the car. I heard that same squeal of brakes. Then I heard a scream. Liam's scream…

Here I am now. Just standing and watching. I can't believe what I've done. I stare at his stone cold body just lying in the road. Blood stains splashed up the curb. I watch the startled driver hurry next to Liam's body. Before he looks up at me, I begin to run. I run faster than I've ever run before. I have a horrible feeling inside me and I can't think.

I killed…

I killed…Liam

I killed Liam.

It's haunting me already and I know it will never go away. I speed further and further away from my flat until I'm completely isolated on a cliffs edge. I stare out to sea and watch the waves crashing against the rocks below me. I think about the last words I ever said to Zayn, and that last look I gave Niall. They probably hate me. I will regret leaving them like this, after all, we're One Direction and they're my best friends…but that's just how it is. Then I remember Harry's last words to me; 'this is hard for me too, Louis. I'll miss you, I love you. Goodbye.'

I'll miss you, I love you. Goodbye.

I love you. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Without another thought, I hurl myself forward. The wind is freezing as it blows through me. I'm falling through the air. I can feel my mouth open and trying to scream, but nothing comes out. Everything is completely blank. I can't see or hear anything. I just feel like I'm floating away into nothing…

Then it hits me. It's a sudden pain shooting down my spine, my head crashing against rocks.

Then everything goes dark…

A few days later, on Monday 11th June, 2012, Louis Tomlinson's body was recovered amongst the sand and rocks at the bottom of the cliff by the sea. The two remaining members of the band One Direction have been reported missing ever since the news of Liam and Louis' bodies found dead. It is thought that they too, committed suicide after the heart-breaking news of their three fellow band members, but nobody can be sure at the moment.

Rumours have been spread that when people are on the beach, they can still hear Louis in pain and calling Harry's name. He will never rest and will continue searching for Harry forever in pain…


End file.
